Diary of a Charlotte Mason Homeschool

A Child's First Liberty

2008-05-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

A Child's First Liberty

The liberty of the person who can make himself do what he ought is the first of the rights
that children claim as persons. (Charlotte Mason)

We are all either slaves to sin or slaves to righteousness. (Paul of Tarsus)

Ask the typical American child, “What is it like to be an adult?” And, the great majority will respond, “You get to do what you want.” Undoubtedly, such a statement fails to describe the lives of the vast majority of adults who must submit to the dictates of their employment, consider the needs of spouse and children, labor to cut the grass and clean the house, in summary, who must live a life structured more by needful responsibility than by whimsical desire. Yet, if this be the case, how is it that so many children have an image of adulthood which is so patently false. And, what are the consequences for children who possess such a conception. Are we not setting them up for lives of irresponsibility, frustration and unhappiness?

Perhaps our children are picking up on our own adolescent fantasy, the dream that doing whatever one wants whenever one wants is both a realistic possibility and the secret to happiness. Despite all the advertisements to the contrary, it is simply not possible to always “have it your way,” nor is it even desirable. After all, so many of our desires are merely reflections of well marketed, passing fads. And, so many more of our desires are nothing but momentary cravings. How often do we find ourselves wanting that which does not fulfill? The third piece of chocolate cake is more likely to make us sick than to satisfy. Yet still we want it. Do not life’s truest and deepest satisfactions (deepening knowledge, loving relationship, and fruitful labor) often require us to forego the indulgence of momentary desire? And isn't it true that whimsical, self-indulgent desire is much more the tyrant than the liberator.

If indeed living by chance desire rather than higher principal is a form of bondage, how do parents and teachers foster the higher life? Consider that no child is born knowing how to orient to the world, knowing what to think and what not to think, what to do and what not to do. Children possess a generalized sense that there is a right and wrong but little knowledge of what is right and wrong. They look to primary care-givers to inform them as to the basic rules of life. And, their primary care-givers will convince them of one of the following:
· Life is about doing what I want.
· Life is about doing what is right and good.
As in most of life’s endeavors, there are errors to be made on the right and on the left. From time to time, we encounter the adult with an authoritarian bent, who seeks excessive, arbitrary control over children. Such a stance is indeed destructive. The “because I want you to” or “because I said so” of an adult is a poor substitute for the peaceful, patient, and principled pursuit of that which is right and good. Children can never joyfully accept a parenting strategy based upon the premise that adults get to do what “they want” but children must conform and obey. Children raised in such an environment almost always respond in either fearful dependency or angry rebellion. A recognition of the equal dignity of both children and adults but the relative ignorance and moral weakness of children (as compared to the mature adult) implies the following responsibilities for each:
· Neither adult nor child is free to orient life around the principle of “I want”
· Both adult and child are constrained by the “must” of pursuing what is right and good.
· It is the responsibility of parents and teachers to inform children as to what is right and good and then to hold them accountable to it.
· It is the responsibility of children to trust and obey their parents and teachers.
· It is the responsibility of parents and teachers to be worthy of such trust and obedience.
· Parents and teachers are worthy of such trust and obedience when they submit their own lives to that which is right and good. Parents and teachers become unworthy of trust and obedience when they orient their lives around the principle of “I want”.
We must not use the sins of the few as a means to obfuscate and justify the sins of the many. The majority parenting style tends to change with the day’s fashion. And, authoritarianism is certainly not fashionable. Rather, our contemporary culture endorses a kind of parental libertarianism. Consider the following true stories:
· Arriving at their new home, a couple invited their five year old son to look over the house and choose his room. The boy promptly chose the master suite, leaving his parents to a much smaller bedroom. The parents moved their things into the smaller room.
· A mother was in the habit of allowing her eight year old daughter to choose, without limitation, her own clothes. One cold December day, the little girl decided she wanted to wear her bikini swimsuit. Scantily clad, the girl pranced around all day, both inside and out.
· A father spent in excess of two hours trying to reason with his four year old daughter as to why it was good to put on shoes and socks before going outside. In the end, he gave up in exasperation and simply carried his shoeless daughter to the car.
· A teacher rewards her students with a piece of candy every time a student does that which he ought.
Arguably, none of these adults are wicked. All possess a sincere, good will for their children. But all behaved quite foolishly, potentially undermining the well being of the very children they love. Intentional or not, adults are constantly providing children with life lessons. In each of these stories, a child was instructed with the following lesson: “What a little boy or little girl wants is what matters most.” A little boy should have the room he wants regardless of parents’ greater need for space and privacy. A little girl should be able to wear whatever she wants regardless of considerations of its appropriateness. A little girl should be able to do what she wants unless convinced otherwise. There is no need to trust and obey. Students need not do what they ought unless adequately bribed. Children learn such lessons well.
Many adults have rightly rejected the stance that life for children is about what I, the adult, want. Unfortunately, many have made the new focus to be what the child wants. Pity the thirty year old who desperately holds onto the illusion that life is about doing only that which self “wants”, unless suitably convinced or suitably bribed. And remember that “the boy is author to the man”.
At Ambleside schools, we are very intentional in our efforts to ensure a consistent message.
· Life is not about what teachers “want”.
· Life is not about what students “want”.
· Life is about what is “right and good”.
We encourage all parents and teachers to do the same. Consider the following excerpt from Charlotte Mason’s essay, Concerning Children as Persons:
The child who has learned that, by persistent demands, he can get leave to do what he will, and have what he likes, whether he do so by means of stormy outcries or by his bewitching, wheedling ways, becomes the most pitiable of all slaves, the slave to chance desires; he will live to say with the poet:
“Me this unchartered freedom tires’
I feel the weight of chance desires.”

Indeed, he already feels this weight, and that is why he is fretful and discontented and finds so little that is delightful in his life. Let him learn that “do as you’re bid” is a child’s first duty; that the life of his home is organized on a few such injunctions as “be true,” “be kind,” “be courteous,” “be punctual,” and that to fail in any of these respects is unworthy and unbecoming; more, let him be assured that such failures are of the nature of sin and are displeasing to God, and he will grow up to find pleasure in obedience, and will gradually gather the principles which should guide his life.
Education as formation not mere information
www.amblesideschools.com

A monthly publication of Ambleside Schools International
For the purposes of advancing a renewal in education
in accord with the principles of Charlotte Mason

CM Blog, Latin, and Drawing

2007-09-17T05:51:00.001-07:00

I know, it's been a while! But we've been very busy lately. We've had our ups and downs but we are moving right along.

Here is another blog that would be very encouraging in your CM journey: http://www.thriftyhomeschooler.blogspot.com/

We started Latina Christiana and it is going much better than I ever imagined. I believe that what is really helping is that we are reviewing frequently. Also, we do not progress to the next lesson until we have grasped the last. That means that we will not be doing a lesson per week as suggested. Perhaps one lesson every other week. But that is so much better for us than rushing through and finding ourselves not remembering much. My oldest is doing great. He was reluctant at first and did not seem interested in the least. But when he finds that he is remembering the words and conjugations, then you see a glimmer in the eye of pride and that helps him to keep at it. We are memorizing the table blessing as well as new words and phrases. I purchased the workbook, teacher text, DVD lessons, and the pronunciation CD. I got it all on Ebay! I highly recommend getting the DVD's because then you have an actual teacher teaching the lessons and you are able to hear how things are pronounced. If you are interested in teaching your children Latin, I recommend using Latina Christiana. It is wonderful!

I also found a site on teaching drawing to children. http://www.goshen.edu/art/ed/draw.html
I recommend that you print it out as there is alot there that will be helpful.
And here is a CM site for teaching art appreciation: http://www.home-school.com/Articles/AndreolaArtAppre.html

As I embark on a new homeschool year, I am grateful for all that I have learned so far. I can't imagine another way of educating my children. Although somedays, I am truly tempted to send the little ones off to school, so I can get a break, I know that unless the school teaches in the Charlotte Mason way, with Jesus Christ as it's head, I would not be satisfied.

I will not have alot of time to myself. I will have toys to help pick-up, dishes to do, laundry to wash, diapers to fold, and lessons to guide, but I will be grateful for all the work. For in having this work, I will be reminded that I have a dear family that has been given to me by the Lord. Many little souls have been entrusted to me and I must do my very best. I will pray daily for the strength to do it each day and to be content in my calling as wife and mother.

Children are persons

2007-07-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about what Charlotte wrote about children. Many summaries have been written to explain Charlotte's writings. Here is my understanding of what she meant when she said that children are born persons.

When we think of ourselves, we think that we are a person with thoughts, feelings, and a certain amount of knowledge of and experience with world and people around us.

Whether our children are 2 months old, 5 yrs. old, or 14 yrs. old, we should treat them as persons with some knowledge, althought limited, of the world around us. Children don't know as much as most adults and have fewer life experiences, but nonetheless, they are persons and have feelings and should be seen and treated as a person.

Sometimes we will feel impatient because our child doesn't pay attention or understand what we expect out of them. We may use harsh words or get frustrated and show impatience towards them. Perhaps we raise our voice or call them names or get sarcastic. We must at that moment stop and think. Put yourself in the shoes of that child. How would you feel as you are being talked down to?

Isn't it better to speak to our child like a miniature version of an experienced person. In other words treat your child like the person he or she all ready is. Even an infant, although he can not speak yet, has feelings, needs, and can learn. Speak to him more patiently and teach him a little more of what you know so that he can become a more experienced person with better developed thoughts and expressions, and a better understanding of the world and how it functions.

Read to your children for that will help feed them with ideas and thoughts that will, in turn, help them to form their own thoughts and ideas. Encourage them to play and use their imagination. Give them time to be children. Don't rush them, or over schedule them in too many activities that will greatly limit their time to play and just be. There is no need to. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of dressing up and pretending, playing tag, or just being outdoors and enjoying nature.

Treating children as persons doesn't mean letting them make all kinds of choices and decisions that they are not ready for. Children still need their parents to make most decisions for them, such as what they may eat, or wear, or do. But parents can make those decisions without making the child feel like a nobody. We can be firm without talking down to the child.

Don't think that they won't remember who were the kind respectful adults in thier lives and which were not. I still remember all the special adults that treated me kindly and also the ones that were mean and unkind. One time, in second grade, a teacher stuck me in a closet as a punishement for talking in class. I was crying and terrified. I am sure that at that moment, the teacher really didn't see me as a person :( But another time, in 6th grade, my teacher through me a going away party since we were moving out of state.

I am sure you have heard this before but I will say it anyway. Why is it that we tend to be nicer and speak more kindly to strangers than to our own children and even spouses?

Proverbs 16:24 comes to mind "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones".

Be willing to listen to your child talk. Give him a chance to speak and to develop the ability to explain his thoughts. Ask your child questions and really listen to him speak. You will be amazed by what you are missing by not thinking of your child as someone to respect as the person that he/she is.

Charlotte Mason was so wise! She was truly gifted. To read Charlotte's own writing she has a 6 volume series that is fairly inexpensive to find through ebay. Or you can read them for free online at http://www.amblesideonline.com/

Happy Homeschooling and Parenting!

More Charlotte Mason

2007-06-28T20:18:00.001-07:00

Today I had a pool get together. I invited several families from our home school group. It was a beautiful hot day, just perfect for swimming. We had 14 boys and my daughter helped to keep an eye on the children. They had a great time.

But the highlight for me was finding out that one of the other homeschooling moms is a CM home educator. She also just recently moved into the area and had been attending a local CM group that was discussing the "Charlotte Mason Companion" by Karen Andreola. So we started talking and getting to know each other better and lo and behold we have similar goals for our home schools. Another mom was sharing that she wanted to find a more enjoyable and fun way to educate her boys and we talked to her a little bit about Charlotte Mason. I lent her my "Companion" and a couple of other books that should help her get started in learning what Miss Mason taught and how she was so far ahead of her time and even our time. Thank you Charlotte!

Well we are meeting again next week and plan on getting together during the school year to learn picture study and a composer together. We will also probably go on some nature walks and share our ups and downs this school year. This was an answer to prayer for me, because I was really wanting to have some good homeschool support and people that share the same interest in this philosophy of education, and it looks like I finally found it!

I purchased some items from "History Portfolios" http://www.homeschooljourney.com/ I ordered maps, and special notebooks for our Ancient History study. I will also be using Susan Bauer's "The Story of the World: History for the Classical Child" as a read aloud with my 8 and 6 year olds. My 14 year old will be reading "Augustus Ceasar's World" by Genevieve Foster, in addition to some other materials that will be suggested in the "History Portfolios"

Thanks for sharing my journey.

Getting Started

2007-06-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

I started buying some new products for our homeschool next year. I have many beginner readers and classic books for the children to read. But I wanted to implement Latin so I purchased Latina Christiana 1. It works best with grades 3 and up but I am sure my five year old will learn a little with us. We will also be using Learnables for Spanish 1.

I found a program for math called Teaching Textbooks that I just know will be helpful in teaching the upper grade math. Algebra 1 is what my son will be using this year. I also purchased a notebooking program for history called History Portfolios. As soon as I learn how to post links I will post them so you can see everything and read about the products.

I will be teaching Ancient history to all my children this year. I will just change the reading requirements and will assign projects that will suit their abilities.

I will be using the Beautiful Feet guide for geography and science. We will be keeping a nature journal for science as well and going on nature walks and other outdoor field trips.

But the most important part of our homeschool will be all the reading we will do together and on our own, and the narrations I will hear from each child. Reading "living books" is the key. If your child says please read more, or don't stop reading mom, then you know it's a living book.

I am very excited about this school year and I hope that my enthusiasm will rub off on the children.

My students are all boys this year. My oldest, the only girl, just graduated from high school. She is not going to college this year, so she will be my assistant. The boys are ages 14, 8, and 6. The baby is 2 months old, and is learning to coo, grab things, and to kick and punch. All five are a blessing to me and I am happy to be called mom.

http://www.4reallearning.com/

http://www.amblesideonline.org/