Children are persons

I have been thinking about what Charlotte wrote about children. Many summaries have been written to explain Charlotte's writings. Here is my understanding of what she meant when she said that children are born persons.

When we think of ourselves, we think that we are a person with thoughts, feelings, and a certain amount of knowledge of and experience with world and people around us.

Whether our children are 2 months old, 5 yrs. old, or 14 yrs. old, we should treat them as persons with some knowledge, althought limited, of the world around us. Children don't know as much as most adults and have fewer life experiences, but nonetheless, they are persons and have feelings and should be seen and treated as a person.

Sometimes we will feel impatient because our child doesn't pay attention or understand what we expect out of them. We may use harsh words or get frustrated and show impatience towards them. Perhaps we raise our voice or call them names or get sarcastic. We must at that moment stop and think. Put yourself in the shoes of that child. How would you feel as you are being talked down to?

Isn't it better to speak to our child like a miniature version of an experienced person. In other words treat your child like the person he or she all ready is. Even an infant, although he can not speak yet, has feelings, needs, and can learn. Speak to him more patiently and teach him a little more of what you know so that he can become a more experienced person with better developed thoughts and expressions, and a better understanding of the world and how it functions.

Read to your children for that will help feed them with ideas and thoughts that will, in turn, help them to form their own thoughts and ideas. Encourage them to play and use their imagination. Give them time to be children. Don't rush them, or over schedule them in too many activities that will greatly limit their time to play and just be. There is no need to. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of dressing up and pretending, playing tag, or just being outdoors and enjoying nature.

Treating children as persons doesn't mean letting them make all kinds of choices and decisions that they are not ready for. Children still need their parents to make most decisions for them, such as what they may eat, or wear, or do. But parents can make those decisions without making the child feel like a nobody. We can be firm without talking down to the child.

Don't think that they won't remember who were the kind respectful adults in thier lives and which were not. I still remember all the special adults that treated me kindly and also the ones that were mean and unkind. One time, in second grade, a teacher stuck me in a closet as a punishement for talking in class. I was crying and terrified. I am sure that at that moment, the teacher really didn't see me as a person :( But another time, in 6th grade, my teacher through me a going away party since we were moving out of state.

I am sure you have heard this before but I will say it anyway. Why is it that we tend to be nicer and speak more kindly to strangers than to our own children and even spouses?

Proverbs 16:24 comes to mind "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones".

Be willing to listen to your child talk. Give him a chance to speak and to develop the ability to explain his thoughts. Ask your child questions and really listen to him speak. You will be amazed by what you are missing by not thinking of your child as someone to respect as the person that he/she is.

Charlotte Mason was so wise! She was truly gifted. To read Charlotte's own writing she has a 6 volume series that is fairly inexpensive to find through ebay. Or you can read them for free online at http://www.amblesideonline.com/

Happy Homeschooling and Parenting!